I have a confession to make.
I have barely picked up my crochet hook this past week. Sorry.
In my defence, I have been very ill with an infected cyst on my head (which is now an open wound on my head!) So as you can imagine I've had an awful headache for most of the week and it has not been the most conducive for figuring out the changes to my baby beanies pattern...
But I have actually finished it, surprisingly. I may have had to frog (undo) my work multiple times throughout the week because of silly errors but I finally managed to make a second hat which worked much better than the first. Do you want to see it?
The pattern has been sent off to my "crochet guru" who has since questioned my sizing, so we're still working out what age range the hats actually fit (I thought baby and toddler but we need to be more specific on the age of the baby!) Fingers crossed I shall soon be able to share the pattern with you all.
So maybe it wasn't the worst week ever in terms of crochet after all. And yet, I felt so lost without my hook in my hand and a project on the go. Several days went by when I just could not focus on anything at all and so I longingly looked at the baby blanket and wished so desperately I felt well enough to work on a row or two.
It was a horrid reminder of how truly awful I felt when pregnant. Sometimes it can be hard to imagine just how ill HG actually makes you. I mean the nausea and vomiting is horrific in and of itself, but the extreme exhaustion and lethargy that comes with it from the dehydration and inability to eat sufficient amounts of food cannot be underestimated. Over the weekend I was reminded of that as I lay pitifully on the sofa or in bed, barely able to function in any normal way. And I wasn't even burdened by the added nightmare that 24/7 nausea brings when you have HG. The one thing that got me through the weekend was reminding myself that if I survived nine months of that then I could survive a week or two of fighting this infection and healing.
With that in mind, my heart goes out to all those currently suffering from severe pregnancy sickness. Words cannot do justice to the trauma and pain that it brings day in and day out. And it's not just the expectant mother who suffers: her entire family can be deeply affected by it. My own husband suffered from depression thanks to the feelings of helplessness he had whilst I was pregnant and there was nothing he could do to ease my suffering. In fact he was the one who first commented that my pallor and mood this weekend was so akin to the way I was when pregnant. I think out of the two of us he was far more traumatised than I was.
And so that's why I'm working so hard on these patterns and little crochet projects. I updated my stats the other day and realised I have 7 completed items, a pattern I've created and a blanket currently growing day by day. And that makes me feel like this challenge is achievable, that at the end of nine months I shall have a contribution to make through the sale of the items and the stories behind them all. And that gives me hope that together we can make this a fantastic campaign and support PSS in the amazing work they do in supporting women and their families survive the nightmare of HG.
So please, do keep checking back to keep up with everyone's progress and consider leaving a comment or two to encourage the whole team to keep going! And, of course, donations are always welcome too.
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